As a little girl I always dreamed of being the cutest little housewife: cooking and cleaning for my husband, tending to the kids, being the hottest MILF on the block, duh. Okay, so maybe the last part was a late addition, whatever you get the point.
Basically, I didn’t want to grow up and get a big girl job, I wanted to do something that I loved: taking care of the people that mean the most to me.
I mean, I’m pretty sure they call what I want to do (without the whole “husband” factor…) “nannying” or “a maid” or “servant.” Erroneous! Erroneous on all counts!
But seriously, why shouldn’t you be able to make a living doing the things that you love? I mean, there are people out there who actually make a living doing the craziest stuff! Here’s a look into just some of the careers (other than my dream of “nannying”) that would be sick AF to have!
I’m not kidding. Team China composed of Zhang Pan (Mu), Chen Zhihao (Hao), Zhang Ning (xiao8), Wang Jiao (Banana) and Wang Zhaohui (SanSheng) currently make $1,005,661 each. Holy CASUAL?! Where do I sign up?! Oh wait, I can barely beat Mario Kart- Someone bring me a glass of wine to drown my sorrows…
Yes, you read that right. There are people out there who make, on average, around $15,000 a year simply by sleeping. Now that’s not nearly enough to live off of (at least for me, I could blow through that in one trip to Nordstrom 💁.) However, that’s a nice cushion to an already existing job. I’ll take another BIG glass of wine, because, you know, sleep…
OKAY. All jokes aside, this must have been made for me. So where do I sign up to be a professional shopper? I’d love to channel my inner Rachel Green and spend other people’s money! This is totally a real career. You get to make your own hours and choose which jobs you do and do not want to do. CRAZY! I’ll take another glass of wine now, because, you know, alcohol and credit cards work really well together. For all you judging me right now, clearly you need a glass of vino yourself.
Professional Water Slide Tester
Again, totally a legitimate thing. How AWESOME would it be to ride water slides all day then write about them at night (and often times be quoted in magazines and brochures)?! SIGN ME UP, again. The job has few responsibilities, although the few you do have are very important and, you know, could mean life or death for the future riders. Livelihood aside, who wants to drink some wine (or margaritas if we’re going to be near water?) and go ride some wild water slides?! Not sure that’s part of the job description though…
Professional Hotel Guest
UHM YES?! This too is a legitimate career and all it requires is that you stay in a hotel for a few days and write about it (strong writers only, I assume). This job would be so kick-ass, because you’re required to enjoy all the amenities in the hotel, heck you enjoy that drink (or three) in the bar then go and enjoy a great massage at the spa, because, well, why the f*ck not?
With all of that being said, I am absolutely considering quitting my day job and enjoying the finer things in life. Because playing video games, sleeping, shopping, riding water slides and staying in fancy hotels all while drinking copious amounts of wine sounds good to me, obviously! Cheers!